How do adults make friends?
All growing up I played sports so I had a friend group ingrained in my school. When I was growing up I was always with the field hockey or lacrosse team since we spent so many hours per week together. When I transferred schools, I met the soccer team before anyone else and they instantly got me through my first few weeks of school. I got to college and the lacrosse team found me before all of my belongings were even moved into my room. I never struggled to have friends before because at any given time in life I had 30 other girls I had to see every single day and they were struggling with the same things I was struggling with – usually how to pass our fitness tests or attempting to understand quantitative methods.
When I moved to Florida, it was the first time in my life I didn’t have a group of girls awaiting my arrival. I struggled to step out of my shell. Without any friends it was hard to force my anxiety ridden self to go out and do things alone so I could meet other people.
Eventually, I forced myself to go to the aerial gym down here. I started meeting people and talking to them during class but I never figured out how to cross that line from aerial friends to friend friends. Now two years in there are a couple girls that call me up to talk during quarantine and invite me to their house warmings but I’ll admit, they had to make the first move because I never know how to just ask ‘hey, wanna get drinks.’
I constantly feel like an outside when I do meet people because everyone seems to already have a friend group. Living in the Tampa Bay where there is a surplus of large colleges, most people here went to college here, made their friends, and then they all stayed here and still live with their college friends. I was that weird kid that decided they needed to spread their wings and leave their college town. But now I look at all of these awesome friend groups and miss my girls back in the DMV – DC Maryland Virginia.
Now I joined a book club and the girls that attend this book club are spectacular. They all seem like they have interesting lives and we all get along for our two hours once a month. But I still don’t know how to get to that ‘let’s have drinks’ level. But yesterday as I was leaving I totally awkwardly as ever said ‘follow me on insta’ showing my true Gen Z self.
So how do people become friends with others as an adult? Am I just TOO awkward? Seriously! Has anyone else moved to a different city and experienced the same loneliness? Let me know your experiences with moving and making friends!