I’m writing this right after my call to inform me that due to COVID-19 the company has to have a reduction in employees and I am one of those employees. The feelings and emotions are still raw.
I understand why I was laid off. I understand that without events going on we are bringing in no money. But why do I still have this bitter taste in my mouth?
They told me it isn’t personal, it’s COVID – the newest excuse for everything lately… don’t want to date someone, it’s COVID; don’t want to go out, it’s COVID; don’t want to do anything, it’s COVID. Everything is COVID’s fault with a slight shoulder shrug to make it seem a little bit better.
Just because you say something isn’t personal doesn’t mean it won’t still sting.
I don’t want to say these things maliciously. I value the time I had with the company. It was a great experience. It just hurts to finally find a job you like enough where waking up in the morning isn’t all that bad. It’s hard to see that go and feel as if I won’t be able to find that again.
But on the flip side, what if I find something that doesn’t just make it okay to wake up in the morning but rather it makes me want to wake up in the morning. What if this is my Oprah story. I’m 24 and being laid off. What if this is my time to create and build my own empire. A time to find my place in the world and share it with others.
Maybe this was the push I needed. I’m trying to keep this positive mindset and to see everything as a gift, a lesson, and a purpose. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I still have that little voice telling me this is the end, that was my chance but I lost it.
That voice is still there but I’m going to prove it wrong.